Delivery: Are you a robot?
Okay, so the robots are officially taking over... our sidewalks, at least. Coco Robotics is unleashing its army of pink and orange cooler-bots on LA, Chicago, and Miami to deliver groceries now? Seriously? Delivery bots can now bring you groceries in these L.A. neighborhoods
The Bot Uprising Begins (With Bananas)
First, it was just restaurant food. Now, we're entrusting these glorified Roombas with our precious avocados and toilet paper. DoorDash is partnering with Coco to expand the bot's reach, meaning they can now haul stuff from DashMart, which, let's be real, is just a slightly fancier convenience store. This is supposed to be progress?
Zach Rash, Coco's CEO, says they've "built this to be the best possible autonomous vehicle for the delivery of goods." Best possible? Have they tried navigating a sidewalk in LA lately? Between the tourists, the discarded scooters, and the occasional rogue shopping cart, it's a freakin' obstacle course. I'd love to see that highlighted on their investor presentation.
And 10,000 more bots by 2026? That's the plan? Are we just gonna turn into Wall-E, except instead of floating around in chairs, we're dodging delivery bots on our way to the dispensary?
Affection, Annoyance, and the Inevitable Bot Rage
The article mentions some people find the bots "cute and endearing." I'm guessing those people haven't tripped over one yet while trying to cross the street. Others, apparently, are taking a more direct approach and vandalizing the poor things. I'm not condoning violence, offcourse but I get it. There's something deeply unsettling about these emotionless machines creeping around our neighborhoods.
Rash claims the bots aren't taking jobs from human drivers because there's so much demand. Give me a break. That's the same line every tech company uses right before they automate another industry into oblivion. And cheaper deliveries? Sure, for now. Wait until they've completely cornered the market, and then watch those "affordable" delivery fees skyrocket. It's the Amazon playbook, folks.
I saw something the other day that just made me shake my head. Some company, Feast & Fettle, is opening a new production facility in Howard County. They're gonna make prepared meals, package 'em, and deliver 'em. 250 jobs, they say. Great. But what happens when Coco Robotics comes knocking on their door? Prepared meal delivery service Feast & Fettle opens new distribution facility in Howard County
The Million-Mile March of the Machines
Coco boasts about completing 500,000 zero-emission deliveries and traveling a million miles. That sounds impressive until you realize that's probably just circling the block a few million times. And while "zero-emission" sounds great on paper, what about the energy used to build these things? What about the inevitable e-waste when they break down?
They started as a dorm room project in 2020? Of course, they did. It always starts with some bright-eyed college kid thinking they're going to change the world. And now we're stuck with a swarm of delivery bots clogging up our sidewalks.
Though initially controlled by humans, many of Coco's bots now operate autonomously with AI. Okay, now that's what scares me. What happens when these things start making their own decisions? Will they prioritize delivering my burrito over helping an elderly person cross the street? Will they band together and demand better charging stations?
Someone needs to start writing the script to that disaster movie right now.
We're All Just Cogs in the Algorithm...
Let's be real, we're hurtling towards a future where every aspect of our lives is optimized and automated. And honestly, I'm not sure I want to live in that world.
It's progress, they say. It's more convenient, they say. But at what cost? What happens to our sense of community when we no longer have to interact with other humans to get our groceries? What happens to our physical health when we can have everything delivered to our doorstep with the touch of a button?
The robot overlords are already here, they're just wearing pink and orange paint jobs...