Ramp: What's the Deal with This "Ramp Up" Nonsense?
Ramp's $32B Valuation: Are We Officially Living in a Sci-Fi Dystopia Now?
Alright, let's talk about Ramp. Thirty-two billion dollars. For a "financial operations platform." Give me a break. Last I checked, financial operations involved, you know, actual humans doing stuff. Now it's all AI agents and "thinking money." Sounds like the prelude to Skynet if you ask me.
The Rise of the Machines (and Ramp)
So, Ramp is crowing about how their AI made over 26 million decisions on $10 billion in spending in one month. Their "policy agent" blocked half a million out-of-policy transactions, saving companies nearly $300 million. Okay, fine. That sounds impressive. But what kind of dystopian hellscape are we building where algorithms are policing every single financial decision? Where's the human element? Where's the room for, dare I say it, mistakes?
And the "thinking money" BS? Please. "Imagine a dollar wants to leave your company. Before 'thinking money' it could simply walk out." What in the actual… It's a dollar. It's not sentient. It doesn't want anything. This isn't Wall Street meets Toy Story. It’s marketing drivel aimed at making us all feel like we're missing out on some revolutionary tech.
Ramp claims that companies using their platform spend 5% less and grow 12% faster. Well offcourse they do! They're probably laying off half their finance department and replacing them with… nothing. Or, worse, with code. Is that really progress? I'm not convinced. According to a recent press release, Ramp Reaches $32 Billion Valuation, Doubling Revenue and Customers in Past Year.
The Human Cost of "Efficiency"
Bret Taylor, the co-founder of Sierra and chairman of OpenAI, is quoted saying he doesn't want anyone at Sierra "spending time on expense reports or invoices." He wants them focused on "building great products." Translation: He wants to squeeze every last drop of productivity out of his employees and automate away any task that doesn't directly contribute to the bottom line.
I get it, businesses want to be efficient. But at what cost? We're creating a world where human judgment is devalued, where creativity is stifled, and where everything is optimized for… profit. Is that really the future we want?
And let's not forget the ICE street raids going on right now. While Ramp is busy automating expense reports, real people are getting snatched off the streets. Priorities, people. Priorities. As As ICE Street Raids Ramp Up, New Yorkers Stock Up On Whistles reports, these raids are an ongoing concern.
Conway's Law and the Bureaucracy of Code
Ramp's CEO, Eric Glyman, brings up Conway's Law, which states that "your product mirrors the system of the organization that built it." He argues that Ramp helps companies build a better organization by eliminating bureaucracy. But isn't Ramp itself becoming a new kind of bureaucracy? A bureaucracy of code, algorithms, and AI agents?
What happens when those algorithms make biased decisions? What happens when they reinforce existing inequalities? Who's holding them accountable? Not the VCs who just pumped $300 million into Ramp, that's for sure.
Then again, maybe I'm just being a grumpy old man yelling at clouds. Maybe this is the future, and I'm just too stuck in my ways to see it. But something about this "thinking money" and automated finance just feels… wrong.